bucketFountain

Run for election as an MP. Campaign on a range of serious social and economic issues. Then, on election night, reveal to the constituency that you are in fact a piece of conceptual art.

How many entires for the month so far? A dismal three if you count this.

What have i been doing? 60 hours at work last week. Why the mad hours? Not because I work in a shoe factory in South East Asia. The crazy week and a half of work in one week was part of an attempt to finish what has been called an ‘intranet’ at work. Technically it is an intranet, but it’s not *really* an intranet. I can’t be fucked writing the details now so you’ll have to take my word for it. I’ve learnt about what not to do when building a flat HTML/ASP web site with no back end to speak of. The lesson – it’s just a plain old BAD IDEA. Some positives too – should I ever get around to updating the back end of this site.

So I’ve had bugger all time for personal email, site updates and paying bills (we have a court summons for unpaid council tax – bastards!).

Wellington, 1986. It’s a pleasant morning during the summer holidays. An 11 year old boy walks into the lounge of his parents house. He can tell from the behaviour of his parents that something is amiss. His mother tells him that the space shuttle has blown up while it was taking off. His initial disbelief at the seriousness of this news is based on the recent discovery that when car engines ‘blow-up’, they don’t actually explode ala the action shows on TV. “You mean, *really*, blown up?”, he asks, his dismay obvious. She breaks the news to her son very delicately, knowing his love for such things. Almost as gently as the time she told him that his grandfather, her father, had died in the night. Indeed the unthinkable has happened, the shuttle has been destroyed and the astronauts are dead. Perhaps more than most 11 year old boys, he is particularly keen on astronomy and space travel. This news causes him a feeling of grief, but also excitement. A real life space disaster. News like this is sad, but extremely unusual and dramatic. The images of the Challenger’s final take off became embedded in his memory over the next few weeks as they are repeated at any opportunity. He looked in the newspapers daily for updates on the recovery attempt and theories on the possible cause of the tragedy. He remembers Ronald Reagan’s line about the seven astronauts touching the face of God.

Move forward nearly twenty years. In a world after September 11 the news of the Colombia’s destruction, while shocking, seems to pale in significance to its sisters demise. How differently would Columbia’s break-up have been received had the WTC massacre never happened? As we get older experience leaves its mark. This second shuttle tragedy serves as a milestone. Standing at Columbia’s historic marker, and looking back to the Challenger disaster and all that has passed along the way, I realise how much life has changed my perception of such events.

History doesn’t often repeat in a lifetime. When it does it offers us a special opportunity to think about our life and times.

For posterity – on Saturday night I had Lebanese for dinner and discovered the delights of avocado and honey juice. And I bought a big fuck-off Arab bong.

I have a munty eye. It is infected and feculent. People on the tube think I’m Freddie Kruger. That’s probably why a woman in my carriage was crying today. “Oh my god, my nightmare has become real!” she sobbed. Speaking of people on the tube, there is “Slightly Disabled Loud Talking Woman” who talks loudly to anyone and everyone about her journey. “I have to change at Piccadilly to get the Piccadilly Line and then go to Holborn” she told a young man in a charcoal suit, “what platform is that? Do you know?” He politely tells her that he has no idea and returns to his newspaper while I try not to piss myself and thank heavens she’s not sitting next to me.

Reminds me of “Chinese Walking Man”, a local of Wellington, NZ, an old chap who had a distinctive walking style. Rather a charming kind of walk, which earned him the nickname. Except I never knew him to talk to people. And there is no underground rail system in Wellington, which no doubt contributed to his habit of walking from place to place in his delightful manner.

People are probably sitting at home right now, watching the telly, having a cup of tea before turning in, and saying, “I wonder if we will see “Munty Red Eye Man” on the tube tomorrow?”

An aside, for posterity: It snowed in London today. The burbs are black and white. Rather lovely.

Clunk clunk clunk goes Outlook. Is it a just a matter of what you know is what you like? The mail template in Notes 4.5/4.6 wasn’t ideal. The funny thing is that up until now, when I thought of Notes mail I always thought of the 4.5/4.6 era template. In my opinion Notes 4.5/4.6 was too good for its own good. No one bothered upgrading and these days the old template is still common. It looks like shit. The Notes 6 mail template kicks Outlook 2000’s arse. In most areas. What’s this assertion based on? Hmmm. Things like how in Notes to read my email I can use the enter or backspace key to open and then browse through my email instead of enter, then ctrl+> and ctrl+

Nope – no briefcase blues but I have come out of ‘retirement’ and started work again. This is not a Domino role, instead I am using the feculent tools of the devil – ASP, Frontpage, and, *shudder*, Outlook. =) It will be interesting to compare how the technologies work.

I thought that I was reading an extract from ‘Mein Kampf’ before I realised that it was only a young Conservative . Phew. This guy really needs to get laid….

“I believe that reality, morality and even to an extent aesthetics, are objective; independent even of God’s feelings. I value true talent, disliking most modern art and music and in general prefering (sic) the great accomplishments of Western Civilisation. I am strongly patriotic, and see the British – through its democracy, its learning and its empire – as having been the greatest civilisation in human history, the Romans following closely behind.”

His weblog includes his opinion on homosexuality and other ‘disagreeable and nasty’ things.

They say that the banana may become extinct . I’ve been shocked by the sarcastic nature of some of the reports I have read on the news. Maybe it’s something about the name. Banana. It’s kind of funny.

I’m trying to imagine a world without the banana. If the banana were to become extinct(something that I can’t accept anyway) it would surely be the most widely felt extinction of any life form in modern times. Imagine telling young kids in 10 years or so that their banana flavoured ice cream was actually based on a fruit that no longer existed. No more ‘slipping on the banana skin’ gags. What would happen to B1 and B2? No more banana splits. And then there are the people who actually depend on the banana for their livelihood.