alright – here we are, Tuesday night, sitting around at the flat. “Star Wars” Episode I is on the telly. So why is the telly on mute and the stereo cranked right up? Simple. “The Phantom Menace” SUCKS. Oh yes. We all know that. What happened to the most significant cultural reference point of my generation? How did the princess become a toad? The story is crap, I’ve seen better Flash animations, and as for the pony tails….
One thing that really pumps in the real trilogy is how cool the bad guys are. The bad guys here are rubbish. How do you respect a Jedi that canes some very stupid robotic animations? Ok, the stormtroopers were no Einstein or Yoda for brains, but they looked good. It gave them credibility. That counts for something when you’re a five year old. That kind impression stays with you.
The other thing that pumps in the real films is the chemistry between all the characters. The goodies are a fab gang. There is even a chemistry between the baddies. Like when Vader chokes Admiral Motti in the Death Star board room:
“Enough of this. Vadar, release him!”
“As you wish.”
Now that is cool.
Oh great, Jah Jah Binks has just turned up. The TV is about to go OFF. Oh George , why have you forsaken me?